Confession #5: The Game of Love

Posted by on Oct 10, 2019 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

Confessions of a wandering astrologer #5…The Game of Love
[Waxing gibbous Moon in Pisces approaching conjunction with Neptune.]

What is this game of love that we play? Is it for us a game of pleasure and passion, a game of joy and freedom, or a game of duty or responsibility? Is it a game of suffering and longing; pain and loss? Maybe, and probably, it partakes of all these at different times. And if love is so important to us as human beings, then to whom are we dedicating it? To our lover or spouse? To ourselves? To the living presence of Love, herself?

As an astrologer, the question of love and relationship is the one I am most frequently presented with by my clients. And when we dig down further, the question tends to be along the lines of: what am I really looking for from relationship, what do I want? And, perhaps, especially in the karmic cases: what are the deep, shadowed, driving forces that draw me into the arms of another like a magnet, and keep me bound there?

So are we primarily seeking passion, sexual intensity, or sexual freedom? Or are we motivated more by the desire to build family, deepen in friendship or for the sake of emotional or financial security? Are we unconsciously driven by childhood trauma or abuse? Or by the need for redemption, or the need to control or be controlled? Or some form of manipulation like martyrdom, or victimhood? Is it the longing for our soul mate, the wish to be re-united forever with our karmic lover, or to redeem some lost part of ourselves? Or are we looking primarily for freedom, for self-acceptance, for spiritual union? And if some, most or even all of these motivations are present, then how on earth can we expect these to be fulfilled by one person, as society has traditionally told us we should?!!

Our experience of disappointment, abuse or betrayal in love may have persuaded us to abstain from the game altogether, of course. So are we in, or are we out? Can we face the pain? Can we risk our heart again, or do we play it safe and protect the vulnerable places that the powerful desire for union opens up in us?

I myself have experienced relationship from many different sides, and I have often felt its karmic harness. Having my retrograde Venus in a close conjunction to Saturn in Aries, I have experienced and tended to manifest a ‘heaviness’ in relationships, and found them difficult to sustain. Saturn has loomed as a shadow over my more innate Arien impulse and enthusiasm for love and sexual expression being something alive and free in the moment, which has led to a lot of frustration, disappointment and heartbreak.

Of late, though, I find myself in exciting new territory, experiencing genuinely open relationship for the first time in my life, and realising that love can truly be an expression of freedom through radical honesty, open communication and consent.

And this brings me to the crux of what I want to open up to in this confession. For my journey with astrology has convinced me that the difficult signatures in our birth charts do not compel us to repeat the same pattern over and again; and especially in the game of love. For example, having a hard Venus-Neptune aspect does not necessarily have to make you a martyr; but in such a case, the lover may need the space to transcend physical boundaries so that Venus can find something eternal to devote herself to, beyond the temporality of the flesh.

Likewise, having a challenging Venus or Mars-Saturn dynamic does not necessarily have to limit your freedom to love or experience passion. If you can set up the right type of embodiment for love, the right conditions, roles, permissions and constraints within sexual play for example, then people with such aspects can feel their energy liberated and transformed. Having Venus and Mars in Scorpio in the 8th house may render you somewhat secretive, suspicious, or manipulative in love, yet when you learn to create that deep inner chamber of trust and commitment with a lover, there are no limits to the passion and intensity that love could achieve.

This growing sense of liberation through love is arising in me alongside a deep and compelling connection and collaboration with fellow-astrologer and shamanic practitioner Giorgia Pecora. And we are putting on our first workshop together in London on 23rd/24th November. It is entitled: “The Game of Love in Astrology – Venus & Mars in the Birth Chart”.

We will be combining our different approaches, bringing together elements of astrodrama, movement, dance and shamanic journeying to expose the multi-dimensional nature of the astrological archetypes. We will be working experientially to shed light on the difficulties and challenges of relationship, and how these reveal the shadow aspects of love. We will help participants open up pathways to overcome these difficulties and break deeply programmed patterns, transforming them into new opportunities for love and connection.

If this interests you, please click on the link below for more information. We want to work with a small group, and are limiting the places. So please book early if you want to take part.

Thanks for reading. I welcome your comments!
The Game of Love in Astrology

The Game of Love in Astrology (1)

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